Reclaim Your Power in Relationships

Did you know that you give your power away whenever you allow others to affect how you feel? Don’t get me wrong, a beautiful part of life and the human experience is to feel love, joy, and appreciation for one another; this is a large part of what gives life meaning. However, when you find yourself becoming angry, resentful, jealous, or needy towards someone else, you are handing over your power to external circumstances and people that you cannot control.

As long as you turn to other people and situations for fulfillment, you will never find your power. True fulfillment and purpose only come from within. 

Keeping your peace in relation to what other people are doing around you is not easy. However, if we can come to the realization that we do not have to agree with people in order to keep our peace, we can free ourselves to have the most authentic relationship with others. How different would the world be if we could respect and accept other people as they are, even if we don’t necessarily agree? How could the harsh world of politics change? How might your romantic relationship with your partner improve? For relationships, this concept is a game changer.

Taking responsibility for how we feel and react towards others holds us accountable for our own lives. This realization is what puts us back in our power of our thoughts and feelings.

Lastly, I am in NO means saying that by accepting other people’s actions and beliefs we should allow people to disrespect us. It is very important that we set healthy boundaries and do not tolerate anyone or anything who crosses them. However, true transcendence comes when you can keep your peace even when you do feel disrespected, thus strengthening your communication when you express what will and will not be accepted.

Below is an exercise to help you reclaim your power from others:

 How to Reclaim your Power

1. Tap into the present moment: Become aware of the feelings and thoughts your body is producing when faced with a situation you disagree with or feel hurt by

· Don’t act, judge, or even resist these feelings. Just observe. Where is it in your body that you are feeling unease? How is your energy being protruded outward towards a person or the situation? What are these feelings telling you? What is your voice of fear or belief saying to you at this moment?

2. Realize that just because your body is experiencing something, it doesn’t mean that what you are thinking or feeling in that moment is true or is who you are

· Quite the contrary, if you are experiencing a “negative” emotion of guilt, sadness, anger, jealousy, or resentment, then your brain and body are typically acting out of fear versus peace and trust. Appreciate these feelings because they are either showing you what is not working, or how you can grow from the situation or thought processes.

3. Change your thinking habits

· Instead of saying or thinking the powerful “I AM” words when you are feeling upset (I AM angry, I AM hurt, I AM upset), take note on the experience instead. “My body is feeling angry, I am experiencing hurt emotions, or I am thinking upset thoughts,” are much more accurate phrases. This separates us from who we think we are to what we are and allows us to simply feel and experience the moment. Your pure conscious self deep down is NOT what your mind thinks and your body feels.

4. Ask yourself this important question: If I were at peace right now, how would I react or think differently about this experience?

· This step is key. Seek peace as an end result no matter what. What can you do in this moment to have peace and trust? Maybe it’s letting go, accepting what is, or calmly speaking your peace.

A great book that helps you dive deep into this practice is the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It is a beautiful book that helps you to tap into the here and now into a place where peace always resides deep within. If you want to develop this skill further, I highly suggest reading or listening to this book; It is life changing